


kiss me like you want to be loved

by adamganseys



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Boys Kissing, First Kiss, M/M, Not TRK Compliant, Post-Blue Lily Lily Blue, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-10
Updated: 2016-10-10
Packaged: 2018-08-20 14:57:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8253215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adamganseys/pseuds/adamganseys
Summary: Ronan had barely turned around when Adam grabbed him, pushed him against the door, and kissed him.This time, it was not a gentle peck.(Or, the one with four gentle, chaste kisses and one not so gentle kiss; for the prompt hot, steamy kiss and gentle peck)





	

**Author's Note:**

> I stayed up all night writing this and the other prompt, so..... you're welcome. It wasn't supposed to be this long and I got a little carried away but, it did say steamy kiss. This takes place some time after BLLB. Posted on tumblr as well.

In the span of a week, Ronan and Adam kissed three times, and they still had not talked about it.

The first time was at St. Agnes. Ronan was over at his apartment for the evening to help him with Latin (Adam had gotten an A- on the last quiz, and that wasn’t acceptable, so reluctantly he’d asked Ronan to help him study, and surprisingly Ronan agreed). They had done homework together for a couple hours before Ronan had to leave. Normally, Ronan would have just stayed and crashed on Adam’s floor, but Adam had a night shift. Ronan had offered to give him a ride, but Adam declined.

Adam followed Ronan to the door, shoving his hands in his jeans pockets awkwardly.

“Well,” Adam said. “Thanks for helping me study.”

Ronan shrugged. “Whatever. Your hopeless ass clearly needed it.”

Adam rolled his eyes, but a smile tugged at his lips.

They just stood there for a few more moments. Ronan’s gaze was hot on Adam, and Adam felt it all over his body.

“See you tomorrow,” Adam said, when Ronan still hadn’t left.

“Yeah,” Ronan replied. He still didn’t leave. He was staring at Adam with uncertainty, hesitancy, and Adam looked back, trying to decipher his expression.

Then Ronan took a deep breath, stepped forward, and kissed Adam.

It was only a peck, lasting no more than a second, both boys’ hands to themselves and eyes open, until Ronan pulled back and swallowed audibly.

Adam gaped at Ronan, wide eyed, and Ronan looked back nervously.

When Adam didn’t say anything, Ronan cleared his throat and said, “Bye, Parrish.”

“B-Bye,” Adam stammered, still trying to process what had just happened.

Ronan left without saying another word. Adam closed the door behind him, turned around, and slumped down onto the floor, mind spinning.

 

*

 

Adam did not, in fact, see Ronan the next day, or the day after that, so the second kiss was three days later, on Monday.

Ronan arrived to Latin class just as the bell rang, greeting Gansey with a _morning, Dick_ and Adam with just a nod of his head. Adam tentatively smiled back, trying to convey his feelings with a look. He suspected Ronan had been avoiding him during the weekend, and Adam wanted him to know that he didn’t need to.

After school, Adam had initially planned to bike back to his apartment, but when he saw Ronan walking towards his car, he made a split second decision and quickly caught up with him.

“Hey,” Adam said, a little out of breath, as Ronan was opening the driver’s side door to the BMW.

Ronan looked surprised and a little fearful at seeing Adam. “Parrish.”

Adam bit his lip, preparing himself. “Do you think—could you give me a ride to St. Agnes?”

Ronan looked even more surprised at the fact that Adam was asking him for something. “Sure.”

Adam put his bike into the backseat and then they were off. The ride to the church was completely silent and thick with tension. They kept sneaking glances at each other, and Ronan was tapping an anxious beat on the steering wheel or on his lap, but neither of them said a word.

When they reached St. Agnes, the awkwardness was at its peak. Ronan was gnawing at his wristbands. Adam kept trying to think of what to say, but he was coming up empty.

Finally, it was Ronan who spoke. “Do you have work now?”

“Yeah. I have a shift at the garage.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

More silence.

“Um, so,” Adam said, “Thanks for the ride.”

Ronan nodded, finally looking at him. “No problem, man.”

Adam was staring at him. Specifically, at his lips. He wanted to launch himself at Ronan’s lips, wanted to kiss him until they were both panting, wanted to taste his tongue, wanted so _much_. In the end, though, all he managed to get up the courage for was leaning over and pressing a chaste kiss to his Ronan’s mouth. Ronan stilled for a moment before kissing him back. It only lasted a couple more seconds than that first kiss, and then Adam was pulling away, but he still felt undone, and so did Ronan, if his face was anything to go by.

“So… see you tomorrow?” Adam’s voice was embarrassingly dry.

“Y-Yeah.” Ronan wasn’t in much better shape.

Adam gave Ronan a quick smile before getting out of the car.

 

*

 

The third kiss was another three days later.

They hadn’t been alone together since that car ride from Aglionby. They saw each other at school, and there were open smiles and lingering glances, but not much more than that.

On Thursday afternoon, Adam went over to Monmouth to do some research with Gansey. Ronan was sitting on the couch with his laptop and headphones, and he had simply smiled at Adam in greeting before going back to whatever he was doing.

Adam worked with Gansey at his desk, but his eyes kept drifting to Ronan, and a few times, he saw Ronan looking back.

After a while, they got burnt out and Gansey suggested Nino’s. He said Henry and Blue would meet them there, and hopefully Noah would be corporeal enough to show up.

Ronan just scowled and said, “If Cheng is going to be there, no thanks.”

Gansey let out an exasperated sigh. “You barely know him. Give the guy a chance.”

“I’m good with my movie.”

Gansey shook his head, giving up, and turned on Adam. “Adam?”

Adam considered, his eyes flicking to Ronan for a second. “You go ahead. I’d have to leave for my shift in a little over thirty minutes, anyways, so it’d be cutting it close.”

Gansey looked disappointed. “Well, alright. I’ll give you a ride, then.”

Adam shook his head. “I have my car. I’m going to hang around here for a bit.”

Ronan’s gaze snapped to Adam at that.

“If you’re sure. I know Ronan isn’t the greatest company.”

“Fuck you, Gansey,” Ronan said without heat.

Adam’s lips quirked. “He’s not so bad.”

Gansey left with a quick goodbye, and then it was just Adam and Ronan. Adam walked over to the couch and stood in front of where Ronan was sitting.

“Hey,” Adam said.

“Hey,” Ronan said.

Adam thought maybe he should just lean down and kiss him. Or maybe they could go to Ronan’s room. He had to suppress a shiver at the thought.

Instead, Ronan asked, all casual, patting the seat next to him with his hand, “Want to watch a movie?”

“Sure.”

“Okay.”

Adam sat down next to him. They were close, but not close enough that they were touching.

“So, what movie?”

Ronan didn’t answer, just put on a movie on his Netflix account.

Adam forgot the name as soon as it started playing. It was really bad, full of action filled car chases and lots of swearing. Adam understood why Ronan liked it. But then, Ronan could have also put on _Marley & Me _and Adam wouldn’t have been surprised that Ronan picked it.

Adam said, “This movie is shit, Lynch.”

In response, Ronan cuffed Adam on the back of the head gently. As brief as it was, Adam felt the sensation of Ronan’s fingers in his hair all over him.

“This is a masterpiece, Parrish.”

Adam rolled his eyes. “You have terrible taste.”

“Shut the fuck up.”

Adam did. They spent the rest of the movie in silence. The air around them was crackling with tension.

Adam had really hoped that Ronan would pause the movie (or do it with the movie still playing, whatever) and kiss him or touch him or do _something_. But Ronan wasn’t even looking at him. Adam didn’t know if he was just nervous or purposely being an asshole or what. This was torture.

Halfway through the amount of time they had left, Adam finally got up the nerve to shift over an inch so that they’re shoulders and knees were touching. Ronan stilled for a moment, but then relaxed into him.

Frustrated at Ronan’s lack of reaction, Adam went a step further, tentatively putting his hand over Ronan’s, where it rested on his thigh. He heard Ronan’s breath catch, and he had to bite his cheek to keep from grinning.

It was fifteen whole seconds before Ronan slowly turned his palm upwards so that Adam could lace their fingers together. Both of their hands were a little sweaty, but Adam didn’t mind. Adam squeezed Ronan’s hand, once, brief.

Both their gazes were still trained firmly on the laptop screen.

Ten minutes later, Adam said, reluctantly, “I should go.”

“Right. Yeah. Okay.”

Adam extricated his hand from Ronan’s and stood up, stretching his arms. In his peripheral, he saw Ronan eye the strip of skin above his waistband hungrily. He suppressed another smile.

Ronan silently walked Adam to his car, which was a new thing for them. He hoped that meant they’d kiss again. Preferably for more than three seconds this time. Preferably with tongue. Preferably with hands actually touching each other’s bodies.

When they reached the Hondayota, Adam stared at Ronan expectantly.

“Have a good day at work,” Ronan said, tone slightly sarcastic. “Hope your shitbox doesn’t break down on the way there.”

Adam rolled his eyes, punching Ronan’s arm lightly. “Thanks, Lynch. I’m touched.”

Ronan grinned, quick and sharp, and then brought his hand to Adam’s cheek and kissed him. It was approximately a second longer than the other two. Adam was going to bring his hand up to Ronan’s chest, to his neck, _something_ , but Ronan pulled away before Adam could.

He nodded at Adam. “See you later, Parrish.” And then he turned around and walked back up to Monmouth.

Adam considered following him up the stairs and pinning him against the door. He could be late to work one time. He didn’t.

That night, Adam dreamt about Ronan. His mouth. His hands. His tattoo. His chest. His thighs. His—

He woke up drenched in sweat and achingly hard. As he jerked himself off, he imagined all the things he and Ronan could do together.

If they ever got past chaste pecks, that was.

 

*

 

Ronan wasn’t in school the next day, which wasn’t unusual. He skipped at least once every two weeks, if not more. Still, Adam was disappointed. He also didn’t see him all weekend, as he had spent the majority of it with his brothers and visiting his Mom because it was Matthew’s birthday.

He and Ronan exchanged heated glances all throughout Monday, but Adam had to work until late at night so he couldn’t actually hang out with Ronan.

At midnight on Monday, Adam called Gansey, panicking that he had left one of his textbooks at Monmouth during the weekend, and he needed it for a paper he had to submit tomorrow. Gansey said he’d drop it off right away.

When someone knocked on the door of St. Agnes fifteen minutes later, though, it wasn’t Gansey.

“Ronan,” Adam said, surprised, as he took in the sight of Ronan in his leather jacket and dark jeans, looking a little like a god.

Ronan walked in and dropped his textbook on his desk. “Here’s your shit.”

Adam closed the door and walked over to the other boy. “I thought Gansey was dropping this off.”

Ronan shrugged. “I volunteered.”

“Oh. Why?”

Ronan didn’t answer, just stared at Adam meaningfully.

Adam swallowed. Right. Maybe they’d finally get past a peck on the lips.

Ronan did his smoker’s breath and then took a step towards Adam, closing the distance between them. When Ronan kissed him, Adam felt every part of him melt against the other boy.

Adam put his hand on Ronan’s chest, but then the other boy was pulling away already, face slightly flushed. The kiss only lasted six seconds. Adam had counted.

“I should go, Parrish.”

Adam tried to stifle a noise of irritation. He only barely succeeded.

“You could just stay,” Adam pressed.

“Don’t you have an essay to write?”

Adam did. He would probably be up until three in the morning doing work, at the very least. He couldn’t have Ronan here as a distraction.

Adam sighed. “Yeah.”

Ronan shoved his hands in his pockets. “See you tomorrow. Get some sleep, man.”

And then he was walking towards the door.

Ronan had his hand on the door handle when Adam said, “Wait,” and nearly tripped over his feet trying to get to him.

Ronan had barely turned around when Adam grabbed him, pushed him against the door, and kissed him.

This time, it was not a gentle peck.

Ronan made a surprised sound when Adam kissed him hard, but responded almost immediately. His shaking hands came to rest on Adam’s waist.

Adam clutched Ronan’s t-shirt tightly in his hands, and then licked the seam of Ronan’s lips. Ronan parted his mouth and Adam shoved his tongue inside a little sloppily. When Adam moved closer and his grip on Ronan's chest tightened, Ronan groaned into his mouth.

Adam was annoyed at the amount of clothing Ronan was wearing – he himself was only in his boxers and t-shirt – so he started to take off Ronan’s jacket. Ronan stilled when he realized Adam’s intent, but then complied. It was a little difficult to do without breaking the kiss, but they managed.

Then Adam's hands explored Ronan’s arms, his biceps, his shoulders, as he kissed Ronan even more aggressively. He could tell Ronan needed to breathe, though, so he pulled away to mouth at his jaw, to trail down to his throat. Ronan was gasping heavily as soon as Adam broke away. When Adam’s teeth grazed the skin under his Adam’s apple, Ronan let out a thick “ _Fuck_ ,” and lightly banged his head against the door.

When Adam looked up, Ronan’s eyes were closed and his mouth parted in silent bliss. Adam made a small noise of his own against Ronan’s neck at the sight.

Ronan’s hands, though, were still at Adam’s waist. Something needed to be done about that.

Adam moved his lips back up to Ronan’s mouth, and then he took Ronan’s hands from his waist and guided them under his t-shirt to rest on his ribs. Ronan’s breath hitched at the feeling of hands on bare skin. Adam then brought his hands to Ronan’s lower back, sliding under Ronan’s black tank to feel the muscles of his back.

Ronan gasped lightly at that, and then let out a muffled swear against his lips when Adam’s hands moved down to squeeze his ass.

Adam knew they were moving quickly, but the desire inside him felt too big. Ronan finally got bolder and felt up Adam’s chest, grazed his sides, and Adam gasped when he felt Ronan thumb over his nipple. He bit Ronan’s lip, and the other boy groaned loudly against his mouth, one of his hands flying up to tangle in Adam’s hair.

When Adam pulled him even closer by the hips, he felt Ronan hard against him, and he nearly dropped to his knees then and there.

Instead he pulled away and leaned his forehead against Ronan’s. They were both panting heavily, faces flushed and heat coursing through their veins.

Adam pulled back a little to look at Ronan in the eyes, and the other boy’s gaze was dark and hooded with want. Adam briefly glanced down, eyes catching on the bulge in Ronan’s jeans, and swallowed. Adam wasn’t quite hard yet, though he didn’t know how he hadn’t reached that state yet with how fucking turned on he was. Ronan turned even redder when he saw where Adam had looked. Adam’s mouth quirked as he pressed his forehead against Ronan’s again, both of their mouths parted as they gasped and panted but didn’t kiss, just breathed on each other’s lips, and then he trailed a finger down slowly from Ronan’s chest to the waistband of his jeans. Ronan let out something like a whimper, and Adam pressed wet, open-mouthed kisses from the corner of his mouth to his ear. Ronan was breathing raggedly, his fingers tightening on Adam’s back.

Feeling wild, Adam lightly bit his earlobe, his nose brushing Ronan’s cheek, and slipped a thumb underneath his waistband, and then Ronan dropped his forehead to the juncture between Adam’s neck and shoulder and muttered, helplessly, “Jesus _Christ_ , Adam.”

Adam laughed lightly and moved his hand lower, but then Ronan whispered a hoarse, “Wait. Wait.”

Adam’s hand stilled and he pulled back. Ronan lifted his head to meet Adam’s eyes. For a moment, Adam just reveled in the sight of Ronan Lynch looking completely and utterly wrecked. Because of _him_.

Then awareness kicked in and Adam took a step back, feeling his ears and neck heat up. “Um, I—Sorry,” Adam breathed, embarrassed.

Ronan brought his wristbands to his teeth. “S’fine,” He mumbled through leather. “It’s just—“

“Too fast,” Adam finished, flushing deeper. “Yeah. Sorry. I… got carried away.”

Ronan snorted and dropped his hand, gaining his bravado back. “I’ll say. We haven’t even gone on a date yet and you’re already trying to get in my pants. Classy, Parrish.”

He glared at Ronan. “You seemed to be enjoying it,” Adam said meaningfully, at which Ronan had the decency to blush. “And it’s not my fault you kiss like a chicken.”

Ronan sputtered. “ _Excuse me?_ ”

“You refused to do anything more than a stupid peck on the lips! I couldn’t let that happen a fourth time so I took matters into my own hands.”

Ronan scoffed. “Sorry for not knowing if you—whether you wanted—and I’ve never—“ Ronan broke off, looking frustrated and embarrassed.

“You’ve never kissed anyone?” He was both surprised and not surprised at all.

Ronan scowled at Adam. “Shut up.”

“I’m not making fun of you! I’m just…” Adam cleared his throat. “Anyways. As for the other thing, I want to. Kiss you. And, you know, whatever. If I didn’t make that obvious.”

Ronan’s lips turned up in amusement. “Oh, you definitely made it obvious. I got the message loud and clear.”

Adam lifted his chin. “Good.”

Ronan put his hands in his pockets. “So. Does that mean we’re going on a date, Parrish?”

Unbelievably, there was uncertainty in Ronan’s voice. But Adam supposed wanting to make out with Ronan didn’t necessarily mean that he wanted more than that.

But Adam did. He wanted everything.

Adam gently took Ronan’s hands out of his pockets so he could take them in his, and squeezed, briefly. “Yeah. We are.”

Ronan smiled a true smile, looking elated and relieved. “Good.”

Adam stepped closer, keeping his voice low. “So, how many dates until I _do_ get to get in your pants?”

Ronan let out a surprised laugh, though his cheeks turned red, and Adam smiled back. “Jesus, Parrish. You sure as hell have a one track mind.” Adam shrugged, not particularly remorseful. Ronan paused. “Three, at least. I’m not easy.”

Adam grinned. “Well, that's easier than me. I need at least five.”

“Asshole. You were the one trying to jump me just now.”

“That was just a test.”

“Sure it was.”

They stood there for a few moments, alternating between looking at the ground and at each other.

“So,” Ronan said, “If I try to kiss you right now, are you going to try to take my virtue again?”

Adam gave him a withering look. “I think I can manage to keep my hands to myself.”

“Okay, then.” Ronan moved closer and cupped Adam’s face with his hands, thumbs brushing his cheeks, and kissed him, softly, so softly. Adam didn’t mind the gentle kiss, this time. In fact, it was so tender that something inside him hurt.

When Ronan pulled back, his eyes were closed, his long lashes fanning out underneath them.

Ronan swallowed audibly and opened his eyes, looking at Adam with something like reverence. “You should get back to your essay.”

Adam exhaled shakily. “Right. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” Ronan replied softly.

“We’ll go on our date soon.”

“We fucking better.”

“Eager.”

“Says the guy who pushed me against a wall and nearly devoured me.”

“Can’t argue there. I might do that again, too.”

“With your horny ass, I don’t doubt it.”

Adam laughed and said, “Bye, Ronan.”

“Bye, Parrish.”

Adam kissed him one last time, brief and chaste, before letting him leave.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [tumblr](adamparrush.tumblr.com) or [twitter](twitter.com/adamparrush). Kudos and comments are super appreciated as always.


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